|
A recently critically reviewed No Act Play
03:19:30, 2000-09-01
A NO ACT PLAY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAR MARY CHEN AS MICHAEL BRODEUR ENTERING HER RECENTLY VACATED APT. BUT IN LIGHT OF RECENT VACATION (2ND SENSE) IS UNABLE TO PERFORM AND WHOSE PART WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLY PLAYED BY UNDERSTUDY, MICHAEL BRODEUR by Michael Brodeur ----------------------------------------------------------- SCENE: (see above) very dark *knock knock hollow knock* MICHAEL BRODEUR: Mary? *knock* x3 MB: Hm. Gone. Well, let's see. Where's the light switch? It's so dark in here. I must feel along the walls. Usually immediately to the right of the door being entered. (feeling), why isn't it there? Maybe a string in the center of the room. (slow careful hollow footsteps) I'm swatting around, I'm feeling nothing. Oh, why! Why can't I find the fucking light! Is this the sunroom maybe? It is 11:30 post meridien after all. Oh drat! (a ruffling cottony soft sound followed by a mumble) MUMBLER: mumble, eh... who? Who's there? a small very expensive lamp in a smart royal blue (a good example of which can be found in any of the 6th floor rooms at the New York Paramount Hotel) flicks on, revealing Mary Chen in a fully furnished room -note- since Mary Chen has moved, the part of Mary Chen waking up and finding Michael Brodeur walking into the apt., though usually being played by Michael Brodeur will be played by a striped blanket stuffed with pillows and a tape recorder with Michael Brodeur imitating her voice, since, as noted, Mary Chen has in actuality left for L.A. and is probably noticing differences between gas stations from state to state. MARY CHEN: Brodeur what the hell are you doing here? MB: Mary? Oh, I thought you moved. MC: No. Really, though, I could use some shut eye. MB: Gotcha. Sorry about that. curtain ____________________________________________________________ Dear Mr. Brodeur, I'm sorry but your play, "A No Act Play That" whatever whatever, just isn't what we were looking for here at MSTV. As you, hell, shit, everyone knows, we are in the business of TV that is Must See. We can't very well show this every Thursday (for SO many reasons, really), and you should not anticipate an offer to produce a series of whatever that was. Not even for those weird weeks just after rerun round 1, I mean we occassionally through a one-off on now and then but, fuck, we'll get John Laroquette, or something. Not this though. No way. Why am I still writing to you? Besides, the title was completely incorrect. She didn't even move. Best Regards, Del Humphrey Forth Must See TV PR
previous | next
|
