And before that...

I'm waiting for my dead user to time out cause there was a crash and now the max users and uh huh. And so now's a good time to update my diary that i haven't updated lately, so here are things:

1) This morning I cleaned a layer of soot off my kitchen countertops. Remember my super funny joke about New York Sooty? Yeah well, jokes on me! Cause now i live in the Sooty of Angels!

2) The gas man came yesterday and made my antique gas oven work, and now I know something even better about my apartment: I have a matchlit oven. That means it just gasses and gasses until you stick a lit match down the hole. I'll spell it out for you: That's the kind of oven the ladies used to kill themselves in! So if I ever need to kill myself, I can open up my oven, crank it up, stick my head in and yeah! Sleep City! Knowing that deathtrap was in there with the crazy lady gives it extra special flair.

3) I tried out that diaryland chat yesterday cause andrew sent out that mail and lord knows i luv 2 chat. I kid, but really I got some good thinking done in there. For instance, I had this million dollar idea (at least, it seems like at least a million dollars would be generated in the execution of this idea, though I really don't know from where, because the whole thing just confounds me): Ok, it's a merger idea, cause mergers are all the rage. I think the freemasons and the sc*ent*l*gists should merge! Think of the SYNERGY opportunities!

4) There is a lot of work to do.

5) I watched an anticlimactic car chase LIVE on the news yesterday, cause they have those here in LA. If you are ever planning to be in a car chase, I have some advice for you, gleaned from listening to the police commentators. That advice is: Snapple Iced Tea. Because they say the two biggest reasons people give up in a car chase is that they get thirsty, and that they want to take a nap. So if you have a nice Snapple Iced Tea with you, you should be covered, mmkay?