And before that...

AUUUUUUUUGH. I just lost a really long entry. Let's see if i can recreate it.

The Dismemberment Plan was here friday and brought me to levels of joy I had forgotten about. In the dancing sense, and in the ecstatic rock show sense, and in the being around four people i trust and adore and feel 100% comfortable around sense (five, actually, cause as it happened, Bonnie was here too.) Then they left Saturday, and I said goodbye to Max last night, and now I'm just trying to force myself to remember that I had my share of "oh my GOD what have i done, i was so happy in Boston" moments when i first moved to DC, and look how that turned out, right? And with that move, i didn't even have a good reason to have moved besides restlessness and the vague suspicion that I would really like it there. Here, I've got a bona fide great reason to have moved. I'm not unhappy here, I'm just... not here yet. Probably won't be for about a year, really. Actually, wow, I'm super grateful i -do- have that DC experience under my belt now cause it serves as empirical evidence that I can go to myself with and be like "i can prove to you that it's not as bad as you think, and that it will get better."

But it was sooo, sooooooo comforting to be around those people. It's just exhausting being around people who don't know you all the time, for real. I've done it twice before and I can do it again and stuff, but you know, i'm getting older, just want to be settled, don't want to have to deal with that extended "first day at a new school" jitter action. Growing up, I was in the same house for the first full 18 years of my life. I guess army brats had to deal with this at a much more difficult age. So I shouldn't complain. And i'm not complaining.. i'm just noting. It's a fact that I'd rather be around people who already knew me and who I knew I could joke in a certain way around without being misunderstood. Big whoop. I'm not, and time will pass and then I will be and it will be allright. In the meantime, visits like the Plan's and Max's mean a ROT. I really, really miss the Plan. I miss the galaxy hut. GOD i miss the galaxy hut. I miss my wednesday nights and my cicadas and my chipmunk and my simplified street parking and my thoughtless comfort. I will get comfortable again, but in the meantime, you know. I'm repeating myself now.

Oh also, there are these dogs in my neighborhood, this white terrier-looking male and a big puffy chow female, and when i say they're in love, you better believe i mean they're in love l-u-v. They fuck. all. day. They nuzzle and lick and wrestle and fuck, fuck, fuck. It's so cute when they're first seeking each other out in the morning (been working from home a lot, which i do recommend) and they're alone, trotting about the neighborhood with big doggie smiles looking for each other and then they find each other and lord, lord, carol: you better cover those eyes!

And also i went to my first strip club a few weeks ago and totally spaced on writing about it. My only real thoughts on the matter are: THIGH POWER.