And before that...

I am assy. Horrible crappy assy chen. I neglect, and I neglect, and i don't do.

Here's a little known fact: match-lit ovens, while super-dupe for commiting suicide, are actually horrible at baking brownies.

I have been spending an inhuman amount of time on the internet lately. I work from home, which means: i wake up, sit down in front of the machine, and then at some point i go to bed again. Every once in a while i leave the house. Sometimes i do stuff on the phone, so i do hear human voices (and this one time, i ran into someone in the hall of my building! i was like oh my god! let's touch!) but mostly i work under the ILLUSION of social activity, sitting in the GR chat room all day (the whole team is supposed to be in there so we can get work done, but no one really stays in there anymore and we don't really get work done in there anymore, and yet i remain, which i believe mathematically reduces me to nothing but a loser.) Anyway: my apartment is a fucking mess because i can't even -see- the mess, i am One With It.

I of course am to some degree exaggerating, i left the house a whole bunch this weekend, which was awesome. I went to universal studios and almost saw famous movie stars!

oh yeah, so far my only movie star sighting has been Natasha Gregson Wagner at a party. I am probably the only person on earth (barring her friends and family) who can recite her name upon viewing her face though, so that doesn't much count.

oh wait i saw helena christiansen at an In-n-Out burger. she's not a movie star though.

How come I don't have the new Q and Not U record yet? insound has it backordered. i cry.

remember how much i wanted to see Dancer in the Dark? What with lars and bjork and jean-marc.. oh GOD jean-marc. sweet, luscious, bald jean-marc, with the eyes. AND THE BODY. certainly. Did you know he's french? He is my sweet little french tickler. Anyway, i saw it and here is my official opinion: Breaking the Waves was much, much better. Both made me cry, but Dancer cheated. Breaking in the waves was, to me, more along the lines of magical realism; dancer was more like implausibility. A woman on death row who only needs to raise $2000 to pay for her defense in a new trial? Tell me oprah wouldn't write the fucking check herself.

The musical numbers were amazing though.

i ate raw fish last week!

and in closing, who can recommend a good mail order husband service so i can get straight to the having a brilliant funny sexdog-type around the house bit without all the leaving the house to meet and woo him bit? Bonus points if they list Jean-Marc Barr in their catalog.