And before that...

Boy i am prit-ty behind up here. I have some things, i'll tell you about them:

1) I had a swedish houseguest for about two weeks. I did not learn any swedish from her, though in preparation for her visit, I -did- learn some Swedish from Friend Shelby, who toured Sweden once. Not like toured Europe and played Sweden, they -toured sweden-. He learned some Swedish from dubbed episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja (Swedish) Turtles. He taught me, "Det ar fest, snuben." Which means (roughly) "It's a party, dude!"

I said it to my Swedish houseguest and she was a little confused cause evidently "snuben" is somewhat gender specific for boys. But she's not too uptight so she didn't piss in my cocoa puffs when i wasn't looking or anything. I'm pretty sure. No, yeah definitely cause I don't eat cocoa puffs.

Anyway, I learned a ton from my Swedish houseguest other than the Swedish language, and it was a pantsload of fun. Then after she was gone I found out that she was the girl who had done that Parker Quintuplets site a million years ago when there were about 4 personal websites on the internet, all told. Do you remember it? I'd link it but it's long gone. But anyway, dude, that girl stayed at my house!

2) I keep thinking of stuff that happened to tell you and being like "nah"... it's like my friend Thos says, when too much time passes and someone asks you what's up, you're always inclined to say "nothin." I don't know. I been real busy. OH! I know something fun! There's this whole weird catholic coup d'ecole (props to Joe Hoban, '84? '85? for coining that one) going on at my old high school! Like the evil priests are coming in and wiping out the other priests (not really Good priests per say cause to my recollection they've been their share of assy) and all i know is somehow there are some priests with a lexus, which is where i shut the whole thing off and go, "fuckin priests." It's just so Drrrrrrama cause they came in this past Monday and just fired a bunch of people and took over the school. I mean, school ends in a month, they couldn't just wait?

If no one's claimed the movie rights yet, i get dibs. Senator Biden's all up in it cause he's an alumnus and who knows what's hyperbole at this point but someone told me he's been in touch with the Vatican about it. Hahahaahahahahahahah. That's my high school. Here are fun facts about my high school:

- Our mascot was the Auk. That's an extinct, flightless waterfowl. Do you know why it was extinct? Because if you squeezed its heart, it died. Like if you picked one up (they were kind of penguiny) and went "boop" on its little heart, it would die. It's much less funny though when you realize that it was a deliberate joke on the part of one of the graduating classes in the '60s or something, they voted it in. I liked it better when i thought it was just a buncha idiot priests like "what begins with A???"

- Ummmm trying to think of more fun facts. Some of my classmates were extras in Dead Poets Society cause that was shot in Delaware at St. Andrews?.... Ummmmmmmmmmmm..... Senator Biden went there and one time he was parodied on Saturday Night Live? Also he ran for president once.... uhhhhhh.......... yeah not so many fun facts about my high school other than those already revealed. I tried.

3) So uh, i'm working on a book for Grand Royal and that's blasty. They're going to print it on paper and sell it in stores, it's different from a website. Evidently people still do that sort of thing from time to time.

4) Mix Master Mike's girlfriend introduced me to the magic of the Apple Martini last week. They taste like Jolly Ranchers. It's probably not so hot for hard, violent alcohol to taste like a jolly rancher but you know. The world turns and we can't stop it.

5) I got more flowers today from boy. They are pretty and flowery and they came to me at work and they are nice and he is nice.

6) OH MAN! MARK LEWMAN UP AND MOVED TO COSTA RICA! There's something about it at the Bend Press "Now" section now, though if you catch this later it might be moved elsewhere by then so ok, i'm talking too much, here's the link. A couple weeks ago we were eating fish at smitty's and he and ian were talking about homeschooling, and he was helping me get old magazine stuff together for the book, and then we rescheduled some of our meetings, and then he was gone. I am in total awe. The good kind.

What's yours? Cabin in the woods? sheep farm in Scotland? Scuba school somewhere warm, the commune with the vegetable garden, the Montana home dug out of a hillside, that porn site you could maintain from all over the world while you travel your good years away...? I forget what mine used to be. It's all of the above. The pleasant thing I've noticed is that even though I envy Lew's move and he's my hero, I wouldn't do it now. I'm too excited about my job. I sure think about doing it after I'm done here, however that ends up happening, but then, I won't have saved up enough money to do it then. That's the extra beauty of Mark Lewman's escape, is exactly what he escaped, exactly what he was getting paid to do when he left. Paid well enough to buy the house and raise the kids and keep the family secure. And now, fascinatingly, he can take a couple of American years' worth of security and turn it into who knows how many Costa Rican years' worth of security. It's kind of why you can't judge people by the work they do, especially if you know in your heart that they're a good person. Because you never know what they're going to do afterwards. And they might make you proud to be human, and hoping you don't put off living your life for real so long that you die before you get to it.