And before that...

So hahaha, oh boy. Wow. The LA Unified School District has no need for elementary school teachers, especially non-certificated ones. Wowie! Oo-fah! Wasn't really prepared for that one!

Here's a picture of me holding the basket that formerly held all of my eggs. See, the basket broke and all the eggs fell out on my feet, and that made me frown and frown and frown! Three frowns!

There's still the possibility that if I take some math courses I can become qualified to teach math -- they'll take an uncertificated math teacher in a heartbeat. I like math, luv it actually, and i want kids to like math. But I think I'm mostly just sitting around feeling "Shaken" because I had this idea of what I would do, and it fit, and it worked, and i (thought i) could do it soon, and i loved it, and now i can't do it.

And like, if i'm gonna start taking classes, I mean, do I want to consider a full-on career change? I mean, teaching was a full-on career change but it was one that didn't require further education. And see here's the real question: Do I only want to change careers because the devil i don't know just seems somehow more benign than the devil i do?

I looked at all the neat programs on ucla.edu and was like "hmmmm... do i want to be a dentist? I could be a dentist! I'm such a total dentist! Always with the teeth!" but the more I looked at the requirements for most of the programs I was interested in, the more I realized having a writing degree and like no formal science or math background at all really makes me something of an unconventional (or maybe more like 'hopelessly unlikely') fit in most of them. I'd probably end up earning another undergrad degree before I could get into any graduate program that remotely interested me. There aren't really any feeder programs that take you from your publishing B.A. straight into your Octopusology Ph.D. in five years. And like.. I wonder if I would even qualify for any of those undergrad programs when my whole high school curriculum was also based in English and writing. How did I end up deciding my entire future when i was like 14? I remember in grade school when my parents would ask me, hypothetically, what I thought I wasnted to major in in college and I said "English or Math. Or Science." Somehow all of that got compacted down into English.

Which is why we need better female math teachers that have a specific interest in keeping girls interested in math...

but so anyway after looking at all those UCLA requirements i was like 'how do people do this? just totally change tracks from what they prepared to do their whole lives?' And i searched on 'changing careers' and i found this helpful case study:

What was your role in your old career?

I was an associate in the corporate finance group, managing the bank's relationships with venture capital, private equity, and buyout firms. We structured deals to take companies public, helped firms with new acquisitions or exit strategies for portfolio companies.

What do you do now?

I manage the creation of syndicated and custom research for our corporate members and prospects. Our research is focused around human resource issues, such as employment branding and recruitment.

Oh.

I was kinda looking for the one where the 'what you do now' is more like "I'm a tree surgeon... and I love it!"

Sooooo yeah. The immediate need is to find some more freelance or temp work... anyone need any opentopic or vbulletin or yabb bulletin boards installed and configured and decorated? Or do you need a portfolio site? Or do you want to have phone sex?

Yeah gonna sign up with the temp agencies and cross my fingers and figure out what it is that i'm "only temping" because of.. you know, like what's the... the plan. Stan.

I think it might end up being math teaching but I guess I just want to be sure.

What do you think? for real?

Here's my resume I put up when Grand Royal first died. If you want to show it to someone who can actually do something about it and you need me to take off the line about my bra size, you just go ahead and let me know.