And before that...

So last week I was at this bar, and two, count 'em two, men bought me drinks. One was the bouncer, the other was a Mexican man in a cowboy hat. I took both drinks -- 'cause, free drinks -- but I gotta admit I had no clue what the etiquette is in those situations. I'd never been bought a drink by a stranger before in my life, and that was two (TWO!) in one night. Do you tip the bartender? [I voted yes.] Are you obligated to provide fellatio in return? [I voted no.] If you're not planning on providing fellatio should you refuse the drink? [I voted no again.]

I'm hoping I voted right cause the beers were handed to me already opened, and I hate to see a perfectly good Bud go to waste.

The man in the cowboy hat caught up with me while I waited for the ladies' bathroom to open up. "You like cowboys, eh?" he asked. "Actually, no, not particularly. Thanks very much for the beer though!" "Really, you don't like cowboys?" "Not so much." [comes in a little too close] "What do you like?"

Bathroom opens. Fellatio averted.

Was I rude? I can't figure it out.

Today I stumbled on some guy's list of "follow up lines" (that would be because I performed a bored google search on the phrase "Sure, I'd love to have sex with you!" and it was the only result) and I gotta admit, if the cowboy had used them on me he might have had 2% more of a chance to be fellated, if only because as I bent over laughing my mouth might have accidentally gotten caught on his dick.

Some samples:
Woman: "I'll think about it."
You: "You know what helps me think? Sex."

Woman: "Ooooh, I don't know..."
You: "Look, you're bound to make lots of mistakes throughout your life. Let me be one of 'em."

Woman: "That's sweet."
You: "You know what else is sweet? The backseat of my car."

I particularly love that last one... it seems like the nonsequitor approach could have a measurable disorienting effect on the target female that may result in actual fellatio.

And that second one... if the dude was cute, I'd probably actually do it. Honesty is the best policy.

So now you know what to do next time you run into me at a bar.