And before that...

So, to start at the not really beginning, though it was kind of the beginning of today, though not really:

I'm on my way back to home today from Delaware, where i spent the Christmas, and I had left there at like 5:30 am cause last night we had a surprise birthday party for my mom so instead of driving last night what i did was sleep. So but anyway: i'm driving with my cat loose in the car, and she's being completely fucking obedient and adorable, but anyway... I'm going the speed limit cause i'm not gonna risk like having a police officer give me his opinion of whether it's a good idea to drive with a loose cat in the car (hey: my cat's a virgin. don't get the wrong idea, perv). So i'm like FIVE MINUTES from my house on this stretch of highway between 495 and 66 and i get fucking pulled over! And i'm like "ok. either this car is stolen (no) or the cop saw the cat (no, she was in my lap) or the gods just hope i am really, really sad this joyous holiday season (must be)."

So you know, license and registration, etc, and he tells me he pulled me over for a HOV violation. Cause here's the thing: that stretch of highway, between 6 and 9 am on weekdays only, is 100% HOV restricted. 2 or more. Now here's the other thing: IT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW TO GET TO MY HOUSE cause i am a gay, gay, retarded girl. I've TRIED taking the baltwash parkway and i can take it out but i can't take it in. I can't figure out where the exit is that gets me where i usually pick it up. Anyway. So I'm like "oh god! it's rush hour! i NEVER take this road during rush hour!" and i banged my head on my door. And he's like yeah... don't worrry it's no points on your license. And i'm like "how much?" and he said 50 bucks for the first offense. So whatever. I don't really care all that much. Especially cause Iodine fucking looks at him and goes (you would not believe how unabashedly cute this was) she goes "meow?" GOD i wish i could demonstrate just what tone and volume it was at, it was like "hey, is it ok that i'm here?" plus she has a really tiny voice, and he waved at my kitty and said hi!

So even though it sucked, in other ways it was nice. He was a nice enough police officer.

More on this surprise party: it was so nice. My mom is so rad. Here's some reasons why (though really just a random sampling):

1) When I had to do a presentation on Apartheid in high school, my mom helped me out by lending me her slides from when she was a schoolteacher at a black school (illegal) for two years in south africa. I think i was definitely the only person who interviewed her like, mother (or anyone for that matter) for firsthand accounts of Apartheid.

2) My mom's the good kind of Christian.. the kind that try to be like Christ For Reals. She's like the Sister Helen Prejean-style catholic, not the pope-style.

3) When my friends on this listserv were starting to talk about how rad Walker Percy is I was like "oh yeah. My mom and him used to write letters." Cause they did.

In conclusion: my mom rules. And it's not like she's some kinda powerhouse gogetter jetsetter either. She's just really nice and she likes to know things and she likes to help people and make them smile.

So to have a surprise party for her, that genuinely surprised her and made her so happy you could just see it kinda oozing out of her, facially... that made my whole family glad. We like her a lot.

Also, my uncle peter (age 70+) wears a camel Kangol cap, no lie. I couldn't make that up if i tried.

I got a bunch of good stuff for christmas, it was a good year. Also I found two, count em two, Nickelodeon PhotoBlasters at this toy store near my parents house on Christmas Eve at like 3 pm. So i gave one to my sister and kept one all for me.

Therefore, HOV ticket notwithstanding, life is OK.

God i can't wait to sleep in my bed tonight.