And before that...

I have a stye in my eye and so this morning i was like HEY! I'll use the INTERNET to find out what i should do about the stye in my eye and after exhausting the mayo clinic "health oasis" with no luck, this is i swear to god the first piece of advice that I found that actually dealt with styes:

Stye of Eye
(a) Get someone to say to you "You've a stye in your eye" nine times, after each announcement you reply "You're a liar" and the stye will go away.
(b) Get nine gooseberry thorns, point eight of them at the stye and throw the ninth across the right shoulder.

Sweet sweet internet, what would i do without you?

So last weekend was another one of those weekendus maximuses and it was just lovely all over. The opening was rad, the bodega was neat, I unexpectedly went to see Elliott Smith again and this time it was a rock show with like a band and lots of electricity, whereas I've only seen him do the "me and my saggy corduroy's on a stool, strumming my geetar" thing. Oh also when he did his encore he asked what we would like him to play and i said "between the bars" and he played it. Of course, logistically, he didn't hear me, but i think me and elliott speak a special language that doesn't require soundwaves, if you know what i'm saying. The language of French...

French Kissing! Ahahahah oh, boy.

Mars has a very, very strange bird in her backyard and it sings like 24 hours a day and its song makes no sense, it's like a bird simulator set on "random".. but not just "random bird sounds"... it's a bird sound that can only be described as random.. random pitch, random length, totally defying all bird song logic. I was starting to wonder if maybe the bird was actually a lunatic, like, what happens when a bird just totally loses it? I mean losing it can't just be a human event, any brain, big or small, can misfire permanently i'd guess, and if you didn't have any natural predators, and you remembered how to eat, and you were a bird that had totally lost its shit, you could probably spend the rest of your days annoying the shit out of mars in her lovely back yard unencumbered. Neat!

And, in a strange way, it sort of makes perfect aesthetic sense that mars would have a lunatic bird in her back yard.

Sunday i stopped in Delaware and took my mommy to lunch and then we went to see Keeping the Faith, which I had already seen but was willing to see it again with my nice catholic mommy, and also because Craig Wedren is in it for exactly one second. Seriously though, that movie is a whole whole lot better than those ridiculous slapsticky ads and trailers would have you think. I hate it when they do that. Bait and switch: BRILLIANT marketing tactic. Everyone walks away happy.

see... why am i writing that in my diaryland when i should be putting it in the reviews section of my own goddamn site that i pay to host? Oh well.

Today is no office mate day, and I've got to say, I am very decidedly pro-no office mate. And i vote.