And before that...

This weekend i went to Diane's aunt and uncle's cabin in MiddleOfNowhere, West Virginia and we took canoes up the river and then laid down on smooth, clean, sun-baked rocks, and the heat in them and the shape of them when we laid on them felt like a hot rock massage, and then we took smooth flat big rocks and put them on our bare bellies and it was my favorite physical sensation yet experienced. And we watched the clouds for a while, and then we sat our butts in the river and played with the 6 million little itty bitty tiny like pebble-sized snails that were growing in the river and when you tried to pick them up they held onto the rocks so hard that you didn't have the heart to pull them off and then i thought about microcosmos and i was explaining to diane's cousin that snails have, easily, the sexiest, coolest sex i've ever seen.

You should rent microcosmos if you've never seen it, just for the snail sex scene. You think i'm kidding, and i couldn't be further from it.